HEY so look it’s Monday! It’s… Monday… afternoon?
And I was supposed to post a new entry in the “Last Words” series this morning?
OOOPS.
No wait, here it is! And it’s totally thematic and appropriate that it was late. In no way did I hurriedly write this entry in a few minutes of panic because I completely forgot about this thing until just now.
Not at all.
Word-Analogues Transmitted by Interdimensional Entity SquolGkmly-99rb After Being Warned Its Portal Would Close on its Neck-Analogue if it Did Not Retract its Head-Analogue from this Dimension, to Which it had Travelled to Eat Sushi
by Stewart C Baker
I still have plenty of—
Anyone want to guess what that last word-analogue would have been if I did not have a 5-word limit per story the Entity had not been so hilariously tragically cut short? Er, poor choice of words there, perhaps.
(Hint: it rhymes with “rhyme.”)
Influences and gags! Because it’s no fun if I don’t explain them:
[body part]-analogue – I used to play this game called Kingdom of Loathing. It’s pretty fun. (And also the reason I first started writing haiku, but don’t tell anybody or you’ll ruin my haiku cred.) More to the point, there are various creatures in it like the Comma Chameleon who do not have actual body parts in all situations. As such, when canned combat dialogue which mentions those body parts appears, these beasties are described as having (e.g.) a “mouth analogue” instead.
WTF? – What is even going on in this bizarre little story? Don’t ask me. But it might have something to do with Jonathan Rosenberg’s hilarious and bizarre webcomic Scenes from a Multiverse.
Sushi. Mmm… Sushi…